[Sylvester is waiting with Sylvester Jr. for the school bus on little Sylvester Jr.’s first day of school. The bus arrives and Sylvester Jr. is about to board it]
Sylvester: Junior, don’t…
Sylvester: I just wanted to tell you I love you.
Sylvester Jr.: [smiles] I love you too, father.
Leave uth! The dog eats sthtrangers…
My heart is like a train. At every sthtation, sthomeone gets on or off. But there is sthomeone who never gets off. My sthon.
Pepe: We’re just here to catch feesh and steenk.
Sylvester: Mostly the latter.
When I get back, I’m gonna fold you five ways, and leave you for a cat toy.
Sylvester Jr.: Didn’t make the team, Claude?
Sylvester: Don’t look at him. Don’t listen to him. Live a long life.
Clyde Bunny: My name’s Clyde.
Sylvester: But you can call him “Idiot.”
Sylvester: [singing] Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants. They get taxes done in a hurry! They’re as competent as they are furry. Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants! W-2s and 1099s are piethes of cake for these brilliant felines! Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants!
Sylvester Jr.: [his father is hanging up a fake wreath] Father, what are you doing with that?
Sylvester: I’m going to hang it on the door like I always do.
Sylvester Jr.: But Father…it’s plastic.
Sylvester: Of courthe it’s plathtic! Do you think a real one would have lasted sthinthe 1967?
Scientists have proven that the amount of elbow a father has out the window is directly proportionate to how full of himself he is.
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, the spirit had ended; it had all been doused. The ornaments were yanked from the tree with despair, while Father vacuumed pine needles from his butt.