Category: sylvester

Regular

[Sylvester is waiting with Sylvester Jr. for the school bus on little Sylvester Jr.’s first day of school. The bus arrives and Sylvester Jr. is about to board it]
Sylvester: Junior, don’t…
[pause, then]
Sylvester: I just wanted to tell you I love you.
Sylvester Jr.: [smiles] I love you too, father.

Leave uth!  The dog eats sthtrangers…

Leave uth!  The dog eats sthtrangers…

My heart is like a train.  At every sthtation,…

My heart is like a train.  At every sthtation, sthomeone gets on or off.  But there is sthomeone who never gets off.  My sthon.

Conversation

Pepe: We’re just here to catch feesh and steenk.
Sylvester: Mostly the latter.

When I get back, I’m gonna fold you five…

When I get back, I’m gonna fold you five ways, and leave you for a cat toy.

Conversation

Sylvester Jr.: Didn’t make the team, Claude?
Sylvester: Don’t look at him. Don’t listen to him. Live a long life.
Clyde Bunny: My name’s Clyde.
Sylvester: But you can call him “Idiot.”

Regular

Sylvester: [singing] Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants. They get taxes done in a hurry!  They’re as competent as they are furry.  Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants! W-2s and 1099s are piethes of cake for these brilliant felines!  Cat Accountants! Cat Accountants!  Cat Accountants!

Regular

Sylvester Jr.: [his father is hanging up a fake wreath] Father, what are you doing with that?
Sylvester: I’m going to hang it on the door like I always do.
Sylvester Jr.: But Father…it’s plastic.
Sylvester: Of courthe it’s plathtic!  Do you think a real one would have lasted sthinthe 1967?

Scientists have proven that the amount of elbo…

Scientists have proven that the amount of elbow a father has out the window is directly proportionate to how full of himself he is.

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through …

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, the spirit had ended; it had all been doused.  The ornaments were yanked from the tree with despair, while Father vacuumed pine needles from his butt.