Category: sylvester jr.

I hate to do anything as dramatic as count to …

I hate to do anything as dramatic as count to three but one…two…three.

Regular

[Sylvester is waiting with Sylvester Jr. for the school bus on little Sylvester Jr.’s first day of school. The bus arrives and Sylvester Jr. is about to board it]
Sylvester: Junior, don’t…
[pause, then]
Sylvester: I just wanted to tell you I love you.
Sylvester Jr.: [smiles] I love you too, father.

No!  A ‘kid’ like me doesn’t…

No!  A ‘kid’ like me doesn’t know the meaning of defeat!

My heart is like a train.  At every sthtation,…

My heart is like a train.  At every sthtation, sthomeone gets on or off.  But there is sthomeone who never gets off.  My sthon.

Conversation

Sylvester Jr.: Didn’t make the team, Claude?
Sylvester: Don’t look at him. Don’t listen to him. Live a long life.
Clyde Bunny: My name’s Clyde.
Sylvester: But you can call him “Idiot.”

Regular

Sylvester Jr.: [his father is hanging up a fake wreath] Father, what are you doing with that?
Sylvester: I’m going to hang it on the door like I always do.
Sylvester Jr.: But Father…it’s plastic.
Sylvester: Of courthe it’s plathtic!  Do you think a real one would have lasted sthinthe 1967?

Scientists have proven that the amount of elbo…

Scientists have proven that the amount of elbow a father has out the window is directly proportionate to how full of himself he is.

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through …

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, the spirit had ended; it had all been doused.  The ornaments were yanked from the tree with despair, while Father vacuumed pine needles from his butt.

This is my father.  And these are his new unde…

This is my father.  And these are his new underpants.

Conversation

Sylvester Jr.: You know, if I did something like this you’d punish me. Maybe I should be able to punish you.
Sylvester: Well okay, Sthon. What’s my punishment? Am I grounded?
Sylvester Jr.: That’s too easy. You cannot mow the lawn for one week.
Sylvester: Aw come on, Sthon, it was an accthident.
Sylvester Jr.: You wanna go for two?