Category: granny

Conversation

Sylvester Jr.: Father?
Sylvester: Sthorry, Junior. Go back to bed.
Sylvester Jr.: I thought you were the ghost.
Sylvester: There are no sthuch things as ghosts, sthon.
Sylvester Jr.: Granny says you can get ghosts.
Sylvester: Maybe that’s because Granny is a little too clothe to being one hersthelf. Go back to bed.

Conversation

Granny: I heard this story once about when the Germans were occupying Paris and they had to retreat back. They wired Notre Dame to blow, but they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch. And the guy, the soldier, he couldn’t do it. You know, he just sat there, knocked out by how beautiful the place was. And then when the allied troops came in, they found all the explosives just lying there and the switch unturned, and they found the same thing at Sacre Couer, Eiffel Tower. Couple other places I think…
Daffy: Is that true?
Granny: I don’t know. I always liked the story, though.

Conversation

Granny: I named my cat after Stallone.
Elmer: Oh… what’s his name?
Granny: Sylvester.

Regular

Granny: What was that?
Sylvester: [holding his phone] Text methsage.
Granny: A call isn’t even a call any more, it’s a text?
[then to herself]
Granny: I’m never catching up…

Regular

[Tweety and Granny are talking about a suspect.]
Granny: Wounded and cunning. Dangerous combination.
Tweety: Yeah.
[Sylvester, using a cane, walks over.]
Sylvester: Talking about me?

Conversation

Tweety: Wook at you, Gwanny. With a tell phone.
Granny: I’m very hip.
Tweety: I guett to.
Granny: I just can’t read the buttons.

Regular

Granny (to Lola, Penelope and Petunia): Let me tell you girls the three most important things I’ve learned about life.  Number one, hold fast to your friends.  Number two, there’s no such thing as security.  Number three, don’t go see Ishtar.  Woof! [makes face]

Regular

Granny: [upon learning that she’s not invited to see Burt Reynolds with the others] Fine, break an old lady’s heart.  If you need me I’ll be out back with the rest of the garbage!

Regular

Granny: [Singing to the tune of “Thanks for the Memory”] “Thanks for the Medicare / For Blue Cross and Blue Shield / For a hip that finally healed / Remember, on prescriptions, generic is a steal / We thank you so much!” Okay, what did you think? Now don’t hold back, I can take the criticism.
Lola: Depressing.
Petunia: Awful.
Penelope: Stinky.
Granny: [Unplugging her boombox and storming out] Go away, all of ya!

Conversation

Petunia: Merry Christmas, Penelope. Merry Christmas, Lola.
Penelope: Merry Christmas Petunia, Merry Christmas Lola.
Lola: Merry Christmas Penelope–
Granny: What the heck is this, The Waltons?