Category: dr. i.q. hi

If you believe in the ethereal theory that eve…

If you believe in the ethereal theory that everything happens for a reason, then it wasn’t your fault.  Technically, however… you’re a goof-up.

Conversation

Cadet: H-h-how is Dodgers bearing up under his W-W-W-Washington assignment, I.Q.?
Dr. I.Q. Hi: The question is, how is Washington bearing up.

Regular

Duck Dodgers [to Dr. I.Q. Hi] What *is* it?
I.Q. : It’s a rent in the space-time continuum.
Dodgers: [to Cadet] What *is* it?
Cadet: The s-s-stasis room f-f-freezes time, you know, makes time s-s-s-stand still.  S-so whenever you have a leak, it must p-p-preserve whatever it’s leaked into, and it’s leaked into this room.
Dodgers: [to I.Q.] What *is* it?
I.Q.: It’s singularity, a point in the Universe where the normal laws of space and time don’t apply.
Dodgers: [to Cadet] What *is* it?
Cadet: It’s a hole back into the past.
Dodgers: Oh, a magic door!  Well, why didn’t you sthay?

Conversation

Duck Dodgers: I.Q., I sthee your point. You may be onto sthomething. The Univerthe is in danger but don’t you worry, no-sthiree Bob, I’m on the job! I’ll stop these two wretched creatures and foil their little plan! I’ll mmm-hmm-hmm-mmm.
I.Q. Hi: Well, again we’re doomed.

Regular

Cadet: S-s-sorry to interrupt you, I.Q.

Duck Dodgers: Just wanted to cheer you up.

Dr. I.Q. Hi: That’s impossible. This is the worst day of my life.

Dodgers: Now you sthee right there, you’re wrong. You’ve sthaid many times that the worst day of your life was the day I joined the Protectorate.

[I.Q looks at Dodgers]

Dodgers: Now you feel better?

I.Q: Yes.

Regular

Duck Dodgers: [to Cadet] I think we’ve all arrived at a very sthpecial plathe. Sthpiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Dodgers: I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.
[to Capt. Star Johnson]
Dodgers: Tyr’ahnee…it would never have worked between us darling.  I’m sthorry… I.Q…. nithe hat. Friends… This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you…
[backs up and trips over ledge]

Conversation

Dr. I.Q. Hi: Do you know how much damage this bulldozer would sustain if I just let it roll over you?
Duck Dodgers: How much?
I.Q.: None at all.

Conversation

Cadet: W-w-will he survive?
Queen Tyr’ahnee: Of course he’ll survive. He’s Duck Dodgers.
Dr. I.Q. Hi: I’m afraid that’s no guarantee, Tyr’ahnee

Regular

Dr. I.Q. Hi: [of Duck Dodgers ruling Mars] Can you imagine what that would be like?
Cadet: I’d s-s-say that idea is strictly for the b-b-b-birds.
[everyone laughs]

Conversation

Dr. I.Q. Hi: There you are. And how was your day? Any progress in saving the world?
Duck Dodgers: I’m working on it.