Category: dr. i.q. hi

Why does the fate of humanity always end up in…

Why does the fate of humanity always end up in the hands of an idiot?

Regular

Duck Dodgers: (after diverting their ship to replace a lost game piece) I’ve checked all the shops on this pier.  Not a Sthcramble tile in the entire marketplathe.
Dr. I.Q. Hi: It’s good to know this trip was a complete waste of time for everyone!
Dodgers: Quite the contrary.  I always sthay, the only thing better than finding sthomething you are looking for [crew members begin to walk past carrying Dodgers’ purchases] is finding sthomething you weren’t looking for at a great bargain!
I.Q.: You bought a French horn?
Dodgers: For music night on the ship.  Now, if we only had sthome woodwinds.

Regular

Duck Dodgers: Hoo-wee! There ain’t nothing like this back in the lake! (points at a rock) Whatcha rekon that is, Tho?  Sthome sthort of alien trap exploding trap would eat ya?
Capt. Star Johnson: It’s just a rock, Dodgers.
Dodgers: Well, I’ll be!
Commander X2: Is it just me, or are those fellows a little loose on the helmets?
Dr. I.Q. HI: I just wish they’d wear pants.
Cadet: P-p-p-pants are an illusion…and s-s-so is d-d-d-death.

Conversation

Cadet: I th-th-think you owe D-D-Dodgers an apo-apo-uh-you should say you’re sorry.
Dr. I.Q. Hi: What am I supposed to say, I’m sorry you’re a lazy, incompetent slob and I had to fire you?
Cadet: N-n-now, that wasn’t so hard, w-w-was it?

Conversation

Dr. I.Q. Hi: The asteroid has an irregular shape, but we’ve calculated its length from end to end to be approximately 137 kilometers.
Duck Dodgers: I’ve stheen this movie. It hits Parith.

Regular

Dr. I.Q. Hi: Dodgers?  What is going on here?!  Where is the anomaly?!
Duck Dodgers: [pretendind to be deaf] Where is your mommy?  Well, I don’t know.

Conversation

Duck Dodgers: I’ve got bad news and bad news.
Dr. I.Q. Hi: Give me the bad news first.

Regular

Cadet: [as Dodgers is approaching a device] C-c-c-careful Dodgers.
Dr. I.Q. Hi: Two words that contradict each other.
Cadet: You mean it’s an oxym-m-m-moron.
I.Q.: Some kind of moron.

Conversation

Pepe: See zat energy surge? Classic sign of dimensional displacement.
Cadet: W-w-w-which means?
Pepe: Dodgairs is fahn. Le rest of him is just… someplace else. Had le same theeng happen to me when ah tried to use a refurbished personal force field belt. Spent 3 hours weeth mah nose in another dimension. Aren’t you going to ask me how ah smelled?
Dr. I.Q. Hi: Terrible. Just like your joke.

Conversation

Duck Dodgers: I hear you been looking for me. I’m flattered.
Dr. I.Q. Hi: It’ll pass.